What I’m going to say in this word is very deep, but I must release it. Being that I, along with many others, was almost victim of a massacre during my own meetings in Anchorage, Alaska earlier this year when bullets rained into the room where I was sharing my testimony, I must share my heart. Perhaps, it will come across the eyes of someone who needs to see it before they make a very foolish decision.
In my final days before meeting Christ, I was disturbed by such a darkness that I began to entertain the idea of hosting a massacre. I felt that it may be the only way that I could leave my mark on the world, and have my name feared. I frequently strategized as to how I could slaughter every person in a church at once, or obliterate a mass amount of people single handedly. I considered myself a misanthropist, and I felt that humanity was so depraved that they ultimately deserved whatever me or my peers would do to them.
In my mind, Christians were lunatics who devoted themselves to a contradictory historical book that was inspired by a bloodthirsty, bipolar god. “They want bloodthirsty?” I would think. “I’ll show them. I’ll show them the wrath of their god.”
Yes, many of my ideologies came from the Norwegian satanist movement that I studied in which they would set churches on fire and bar the doors with the worshippers inside.
Yes I was deranged, but before my encounter with the resurrected Christ I truly believed that I was doomed to express myself in such a way toward my fellow humanity.
Truth be told, I had never heard the true gospel. The message of reconciliation was far from my ears, I only heard condemnation.
To my fellow believers, we MUST preach the true gospel of Jesus Christ. While we were YET SINNERS, Christ died for us! I never understood this. We serve a God that would rather die than live without us! I thought He would rather kill us than save us. Preach Grace and DO NOT mix it with law or any other covenant other than the one that we are in!
To my fellow humans who are considering expressing your pain through murder and violence, IT’S NOT WORTH IT. This is not what you were created for. There is joy and satisfaction waiting for you in the ministry you are called to walk in. If God could change me, He can do it for you. You can change the world! Please reach out for help.
There must be a special division of Holy Ghost frontline warriors who will reach these radicals and not be afraid to love on them.
Ultimately we, like Jesus, must be willing to say “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.”
THE CHURCH has the answer that these people are searching for! BE the answer!
I love you all ~